Instagram Unfollowers
by Keefe Kayvan on Monday, 16 March 2015 at 6:30 pm
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Many active Instagram users are probably using mobile apps to manage and track their followers and followings, as well as provide account statistics for their knowledge. I am one of these users. I have to know the analytics to give accurate numbers to potential collaborators. I want to know when people unfollow me.

People follow and unfollow me on IG all the time. It's perfectly normal. People grow and lose interest. Some just want to try gaining easy followers, following then unfollowing when I don't do the same. There are a few who take it to the next level going around leaving comments like #f4f and #followmeback. I will follow you if I want to! Them bitches be making me sound like their damned son! Who are you to tell me what to do?!

What gets to me though, is when someone who I follow unfollows me. You see… I only follow friends, relatives and acquaintances. (Well, I do make a few exceptions for my favourite celebrities, cutie pies and accounts with really aesthetically pleasing pictures.) So when that happens, I assume that a bridge has been burnt. It saddens me cause I am one who treasures relationships with others.


 …For a bit. I'm definitely not going to be played for a fool. Why would I want to be at the end of a unreciprocated relationship? Ain't nobody got time for that! I'm going to hit that unfollow button faster than your Instagram profile can load. Goodbye, the end. I have a good mind to block their sorry ass but I am after all a habitual online stalker.

 I do wonder about their rationale for doing so. Were my pictures getting too boring? Were they offensive somehow? (Maybe they were sick of my face? Haha!) I definitely am not inactive! I'm currently following 745 accounts on Instagram and almost half of them are inactive! I did not unfollow them. I personally feel like it's basic courtesy. (At least give me a heads up?) I guess it's really naive of me to expect the same from others. When am I ever going to learn?


My indifference turns to annoyance when these people actually follow me back and start liking my pictures to get my attention! Haha! Don't make me scoff at the desperation, please. Yes, I do see the notifications. I am not going to follow back. You are dead to me. Ship KAYVAN has sailed. Stop.


So much for wondering if it was a fault at my end. You all just want your followers to following ratio to be like 10:1! Chances are, that will never happen. Hope the risk was worth my loyalty. Do you think that ratio will prove to the world that ya'll are so interesting and all? Well, you are. Interestingly gutless. Why do you want to follow me back? Are you still concerned with my opinion? Sit your ass down and take an advice from yours truly—don't give two hoots about people that don't matter. From the looks of it, ya'll can't walk the talk. I absolutely cannot stand people who are so desultory. If you're going to be an egomaniacal bitch, see it through to the end. Even Gushcloud is continuing to fight on despite already having a foot in the grave! (I do not condone their practices but their resilience is definitely applaudable.) Don't go chasing waterfalls because you'll be cascaded into pulp.

I'm sure there are some who might feel that I'm over-thinking. It's 2015, honey. Your Instagram account is practically your ID.

10/04/2015 Update: 
I'll be unfollowing some inactive accounts, especially those that have never engaged on my posts before. Those who I have not interacted enough with recently too. Dust bunnies are overpopulating!


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